Beyond the Twenty First Dates

We all have a “type”, right? Mine has historically been blue collar: rugged, strong, handy, and aggressively masculine. When I found my footing out West, that type evolved into a full-blown weakness for wildland firefighters. I mean, city firefighters are hot too – but not wildland hot. My fire girls know what I mean.

Is masculinity still a priority? Yes. That’s probably been my biggest struggle. On my first dating profile, I wrote, “Don’t message me if you don’t know how to change the oil in your car”. Which is wildly hypocritical because I wouldn’t know where to start! But that’s exactly why it matters – I need a man who knows, in case Jiffy Lube goes out of business.

Then comes the barrage of questions. Kids or no kids? If yes, what ages can I tolerate? Divorced or never married? Tall or just confident? Beard or baby face? Drinker? Smoker? Conservative, liberal, or overly opinionated at the Thanksgiving table? How’s your 401K looking?

I can tell you one thing. I won’t date broke and irresponsible. I don’t need wealth, but I do need stability. A home. A retirement plan. I’m not personally funding his nursing home stay someday.

I’d love to say that I choose partners based solely on their personality – regardless of everything I mention above – but that’s not true. I want handsome, strong, tall, and handy. Good kids. Sane Exes. A non-smoker. And if a woman tells you any different, she’s lying!

Truth is – it’s not really about oil changes, beards or 401ks. It’s about wanting a grown ass man – competent, responsible, accountable. A man who can lift heavy things – literally and figuratively. Someone who will stand strong next to me. Someone who will let me be a little crazy but isn’t afraid to put me in my place.

And if he’s tall, handsome, and looks good doing it? That’s just fuel on the fire.

Is that too much to ask? I don’t think so.

So, ladies, what lights your fire? Leave me a comment!