Jerky Boy

He was tall and muscular. Amazing tattoos, bright colored partial sleeve. Gorgeous eyes. He was sitting in the window at the coffee shop as I pulled up. I could feel his eyes on me as I parked and walked in. He stood up to greet me when I entered and hugged me.

The coffee shop was packed. I was nervous I would run into someone I knew. I wasn’t hiding the fact I was dating, but I wasn’t advertising it either. I felt very exposed. Like everyone would know this was my first date in over 17 years. So while he ordered, I found us a secluded spot on the patio of the bar next door.  We had it all to ourselves.

It was a hot day. His beard was glowing. It was obvious he had just dyed it. An unnatural color.  It looked so fresh I was afraid the dye would start running down his face with his sweat. Gross.

We made small talk. He told me he owns a small business. Entrepreneur. I like it. Except his business is beef jerky. He smokes it in large batches at home and sells it online and at farmer’s markets across Idaho. He admits he’s barely breaking even. He works every weekend.  And admitted he struggled with keeping his books and hadn’t filed his tax returns for a couple of years. He’s broke and irresponsible. Gross.

We begin discussing politics, lightly. I tell him I lean left. He tells me he leans far right. He is adamantly pro-life. Gross.

The conversation flowed. We finished our coffees, and I suggested it was time for me to return to the office. We hugged and went our separate ways.

Breaking the twenty-dates rule, I agreed to meet him again a few days later for cocktails. I’m not sure why I agreed to meet again. I wasn’t interested in him. I think I just wanted the practice. His dyed beard looked a little more natural this time. We had a couple of cocktails and a great conversation. He walked me to my car and asked if he could kiss me. Again, I wasn’t that interested in him, but I wanted to break the seal on having my first “first kiss” in 17 years. I said yes. He went in for the kill. And it was pretty fantastic. 10 out of 10. I got in my car after and had to take a few deep breaths before starting it. My heart was racing. It was the most alive I had felt in years.

We texted a few times since, but I never saw him again. Sayonara, Jerky Boy.