Modern Dating Decoded
My original plan for this blog was to document each of my twenty first dates but I quickly realized that I need to respect the privacy of these men. I’m not here to embarrass people or cause harm. So, while I’ll definitely share some of my date stories, this blog is really about the lessons I’ve learned along the way in my journey.
After separating from my ex-husband, I jumped into dating fairly quickly. The loneliness I’d felt for so long pushed me to seek connection. But it wasn’t a spontaneous decision—I spent the two years leading up to our separation focused on personal growth through therapy, working through the grief of my marriage’s end, and preparing myself for the next chapter in my life.
I encourage anyone who knows divorce is on the horizon and inevitable to shift the focus from trying to save the marriage to healing yourself. I realize that’s not always possible and divorce can sometimes show up at your front door unexpectedly. But if you know you’re on the slow train to the Big D, use the time to work on yourself because when it’s all said and done, you will be the one you’re left with.
Dating in my 40s has been a completely different experience from dating in my 20s. In my 20s, I was seeking a husband, a provider, and a future father to my children. Now, in my 40s, my focus has shifted. I’m simply looking for a partner. Someone to share experiences with. And, yes, someone to tuck me in at night, too.
In my early 20s, social media didn’t exist. I’d meet guys at school, work, and bars and when I gave someone my number, they actually called - not texted. And there was a decent chance I was the only person they were pursuing at the moment. But those days are long gone. Online dating has become a staple for mid-life singles. While it’s a convenient way to meet potential partners, it reduces dating to treating people like options on a menu. Swipe. Match. Chat. Ghost. Repeat.
If we make it to a first date, great. But let’s be real - chances are he’s chatting with several other women and probably has other dates lined up in the same week. Just waiting for the next best thing to come along. Is it too much to ask for a man who isn’t juggling 5 other women at the same time?
Modern dating is shallow, complicated, and draining - and yet, it’s also fun, thrilling, and unpredictable. I made it to twenty dates and through this blog, I’ll share my story…
