Redefining the Rules on Sex

Gone are the days when sex and dating followed a traditional, linear path. The stigma around casual sex is fading fast - one-night stands, friends with benefits, and non-monogamous relationships have become more common and accepted. My mom used to say, “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?” - which is a charming way to imply women were renting out their ‘goods’ without a long-term commitment. But that script has changed in recent years. In the past, men were considered the sexual pursuers, and women had to guard themselves like a fortress. But today, the dynamic has evolved, with people of all genders exploring and expressing their desires more openly.  

Women are no longer sacrificing their sexual desires to appease men. Instead, we’re embracing our sexual autonomy, seeking to fulfill our own desires, and rejecting outdated expectations. We’ll take what we want, thank you very much. Some would still argue that sex should be saved for marriage but frankly, I have no desire to ever marry again. Does that mean I’m expected to live a lifetime of celibacy? Absolutely not! It’s a question that challenges the traditional views on sex and relationships, especially when personal freedom and happiness are at stake. The reality is that our sexual choices should be based on what makes us feel empowered, respected, and fulfilled, not constrained by anyone else’s rules.

So that brings us to the big question. How long do you wait before having sex? First date? Third date? 30 days? Steve Harvey, in his book Act Like a Woman, Think Like a Man, would argue women should wait 90 days before having sex. While society may be accepting of casual sex, the emotional and psychological consequences remain significant for many. A roll in the hay can drastically alter a relationship, sometimes complicating things. Especially in this world of online dating – where you might be dating several people at once. The idea of waiting, whether a specific number of days, dates, or just until you feel emotionally aligned ultimately comes down to personal values and readiness.

Bottom line - navigating sex feels less about following a set formula and more about personal boundaries and desires. It’s about finding a balance between physical connection and emotional intimacy, and recognizing that both can coexist, or sometimes even be separate, without judgment.

So to all the singles out there: Make your own rules and be true to yourself. And ladies - if things ever get too complicated, there’s always a vibrator. Trust me, it can simplify a lot.